I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize