im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
the liver wants what the liver wants
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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