that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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