she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
my poor anus
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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