you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize