I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
