i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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