Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
