So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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