haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
