I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.