Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
