So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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