Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
