So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
