Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
