I just made out with a guy for $7.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
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You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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