I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
