Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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