I wish I only lived at night.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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