We won't sleep together?
I cannot find my penis.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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