she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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