I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
