My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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