I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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