yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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