Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Mom said you looked used
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
