He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
This is classic penis vs brain.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
