so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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