Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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