ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
