Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
