Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
