You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
