Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
