He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
