apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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