i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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