Christians are straight up FREAKS
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
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Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
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He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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