yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
