I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
porn star boner night. come get it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
