I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
