If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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