I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
