did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
