I heard we made out
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
