Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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