call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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