I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
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I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
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I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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