someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
