That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize