Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
