if i can run in heels then i can drive
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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