areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
50% drunk capacity currently
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
