ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
you're hired as official boob wrangler
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize