Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?