You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?