Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize