Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
