Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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