Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
