C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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